Thursday, June 25, 2009
One may think we’re doing fineBut if I had to lay it on the lineWe’re losing ground with every passing dayWe’re not okay Holidays been good. Meet ups and just hanging out with friends. Helps take my mind off things for a bit but when everything comes undone, I'm left to face those feelings I'd fought so hard to hide.
This was the ending I had wanted wasn't it but I couldn't help but cry when I saw those snapshots. Have never seen you this happy since you had entered army. But it hurts so bad to know that maybe it had been my wishful thinking all along. That I was all alone in this from the start. That all we were came to nothing. A little upset I wasn't the one you'd want to share the joy of the end of the 9 long months of pain and torture you had to endure.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't mad or angry. I understand why you did what you did. This was what I would have wanted. I know I had to choose between the two at the end. Better to hurt me than you. It wasn't easy, you have to know. If I had a choice, I wish I never have had to choose.
I wish I never had to let you go. But it's better this way cause I know when I'm gone, you'll probably meet someone better, someone who would be there for you, someone who will make you smile. You deserve so much better, so much better than me.
Somebody, anybody, take me back to the start.
On a lighter note, I'm going to Rainbow centre to help out next week! So exciting! Can't wait to shower love on those God-sent, adorable children. :) And it brings me joy to know that I too in my own small ways, can help the less fortunate. I'm going for my first Cambodia mission trip meeting tomorrow too! Looks like the trip is taking shape. :)
I've been listening to alot of Fleet Foxes, The Shins, The National, The Kills and The Perishers. Totally addictive. This is really all Sarah's fault. Good fault though. Haha!
Admist the heartbreaks and tears, I know God has a greater plan ahead for me. chia shall wait upon the Lord. And thank you Lord for cuddly, lovely, adorable, sweet friends. :)
>> and I watch you as you slip away
cowie mooo-ed today at 1:06 AM
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