Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I guess there's so much moreI have to learnBut if you're here with meI'll know which way to turnYou always give me somewhere, Somewhere I can learnGoodbye 2008. Hello 2009.
i think it's a love hate relationship between me and 2008.. had the best and worst moments. the first 3/4 of the year were the best moments ever since JC started (dreads). :) though work was tiring and all, i must say i really loved the people around me. they were the ones that kept me going and i must say i really really miss those times.. especially the ones at the old Aspire Hub. late nights.. late dinners.. trips to school for olympiad.. typing endless worksheets.. lunches.. many many others :) had my fair share of laughter, joy and tears. then there was joy to make tuition lessons less dull :) danielle was the best to me.. loved that girl of mine. always being so understanding and waiting for me till late to have dinner.
saw the centre transform and grow, students come and go.. haha.. i must say i was very much at work the first half of the year. then i finally in june, did some catching up with friends i had abandoned whilst being caught up with my Aspire world. you guys don't know how much i appreciate you guys always being so understanding towards me being busy. i know i've not been very much of a friend while i was working. :( loved the awesome trip to KL with the animals :) and the long overdue trip to Hong Kong with darling becky. LOVELY LOVELY times! :) was really really happy and all.
then i met you.. and i really felt like the happiest girl on earth. like God sent me a new best friend :) everything went well but kind of changed in a way i can't describe in words. it was just, different. school started.. my semester 1 friends were awesome.. we helped one another out as much as we could :) loved my semester 1 at Curtin. and because of school, i couldn't go down as often as before.. i try to make it down as often as i can.. i still do but it's kind of taking a toll on me. but i still want to cause that was where it all started and i don't want to lose it.
BMT were the best times.. you told me stuff.. i listened.. though we were apart, we mattered to one another. at least you did. :) and i was happy just like that. but nowadays, it feels like i've lost you somewhere along the way and no matter how hard i try.. i just can't seem to find you. it's just different and it hurts. i lie awake at night sometimes.. wondering what went wrong but never coming to an answer. maybe it was just my wishful thinking all along. but am hanging in there cause i want to be there for you.. at least through this trying period. i know God has his reasons to things that happen and i believe he wants me to be your friend and stand by you. i pray every night for God to show me a way and for me to be strong. :)
december has been really mean to me.. but sometimes i think it's a blessing in disguise cause it would have been much worst if it happened at any other times. grandpa passed away last tuesday and the week had been particularly hard for me. i was already physically exhuasted due to two weekends of intensive seminars and my presentation and was looking forward to Christmas and a really good break. so when i learned about grandpa's passing.. i was literally barely hanging on. the 3 days of funeral was tiring, barely slept and everything happened so quickly.. the fact that he was gone never really sank into me. friday was when i finally realised he was no longer going to be around and i really just crumbled. mentally and physically exhuasted.. cried the entire day. God was faithful and i managed some rest over the weekend at grandma's place and little did you know.. i was glad you called even though it was just for work. i actually smiled after so long. like somewhere in my heart, i knew God was watching over me.
so on the last day of 2008.. am going to spend it with my family and God :) i think through 2008, God has showed me the things that matter. that i should hold them dearly and not take them for granted. after running in circles.. i finally realised it was God and my family that never fails me and never leaves me. and i'm thankful for that. :)
my friend once told me, "the Lord God is my strength, and He will make my feet like the feet of deer, and He will make me to walk upon mine high places". I shall wait upon the Lord. :)
May the year 2009 bring the people around me hope, peace, joy and love. Amen.
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