Tuesday, October 03, 2006
hi world. bye world.it's been a long, winding and tiring journey. am barely hanging on. there's no life to life itself, is there. my life's a sad ballet. am fighting so hard to stay alive. i've reach my breaking point.
and so i'm in the midst of promos. i pretty much screwed up today's math paper and am awfully depressed. he doesn't say it but i know i've disappointed him and this is not the first time. it's so sad to know that no matter how hard you try.. you just fail. it's just so energy draining. vanessa once asked me how come i always looked so calm everytime i receive back my failed tests. i've come to realise that i hide my feelings so well that i myself forgot how to feel, how to love. well, it hurts.. just that i choose not to show it. he taught me how.
everything's not falling into place. after a while i came to realise, i missed mugging with you. although you were not literally there next to me but i knew you were always there, somewhere in your little corner, doing your own revision. glancing over here from time to time. it was really comforting to know someone's mugging as hard as you are. and now i'm all alone.
all thanks to my crazy worm, snoopy, gum duck and rhino friends that are keeping me sane. sigh.. i love you guys. whatever would i have done without you guys. your smiles and laughter brightens up my day. =) i guess you guys put a little feeling back into my unfeeling heart.
as promised,was reading through the many smses you sent so long ago. i realised you used to be my happy pill and i've always come running to you whenever something happens. your silly and dumb smses were the ones that perk me up when i'm down. though technically am a little older.. you always seem like an older brother to me. always watching over me and comforting me when things go wrong. i really miss those times alot. i don't know when did we grew apart but i wish you nothing but joy and happiness wherever you might be. the most amazing thing about our friendship is that though we were such good friends, i haven't the slightest idea how you look like. maybe someday, somehow we'll meet and we can be friends all over again. =) >> ain't nobody's going to see me cry
cowie mooo-ed today at 12:02 PM
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